Dad Day
6-13-13
 
In thinking about what it means to be a Dad (something I continually digest because I am one) I can’t help but think of the examples and path that was set before me. I am fortunate, “lucky,” blessed…and thankful to come from legacy of great dads, one that I hope to live up to.
 
My Grandfather (Pop-pop) was an amazing father. He worked hard, loved absolutely unconditionally, sacrificed, disciplined only when necessary, showed incredible grace and most of all, was always “there” for his kids. If he only had $10 to his name, it went to the kids for ice cream, etc.
 
He set an amazing example for my dad. I could write a book on the blessing that I have received in having such a Dad (really both of my parents). My Dad did what dad’s do…he taught me things like how to shoot a gun when I was very young (don’t care if you don’t like that), to be kind, to be generous, to be principled, to love unconditionally, to stand up for family no matter what. He taught me how to fight (yup, believe or not there are times when you just have to stand up for what’s right). Let me explain the kind of man he is and how he was taught. There is a story of when he was in high school and had to ride public transportation. He had just moved from a very rural area in Pennsylvania, where principle and right meant everything. A group of older kids kept picking on a very “weak” boy on the bus. My dad told them to stop and they didn’t. My dad ended up…well, pounding a couple of the bullies after they threw the poor kid’s stuff out the window (don’t mess with “country” strong). He then stopped the bus and helped the kid pick up his stuff and waited with the crying and hurting kid as his parents came. (We need some more kids like that now, don’t we?)
 
Anyway, my dad taught me how to fish, hunt, use tools (I built an addition on our house with him when I was 11 yrs old). He, most importantly, taught me the value of just loving and caring and cuddling our own kids. He taught me how to tell loved ones how you feel (rarely a day goes by that he doesn’t tell me he’s proud of me and that he loves me). He taught me how to give, give time, give energy, give money, share with family, etc. I always felt like he had my back, which provided for great security in my life.
 
My Dad has taught others the same…my friends, other relatives, people around him. And, he’s a man’s man. Even at 71, you’d be barking up the wrong tree if you mess with him. Yet, he’s gentle, loving, tender, longsuffering and most of all, Godly.
 
I can’t believe the amount of betrayal and injustice that has come his way during his Christian radio career. Many have tried to slander, lie, cheat, etc., against him. He has been hurt and burned countless times. Yet, still, he labors on for his Lord in Christian Radio with great optimism. He is the picture of longsuffering and perseverance. He is my mentor, the best I could learn from and I have him to thank for my own career.
 
Finally, what can we learn from my dad? ….Dad’s, remember to always tell your kids you love them. Remember that nothing, NOTHING, is worth dividing your family over. You won’t be perfect, admit it, ask forgiveness from your kids and love them 10x more than you think you can. Always fight for your kids…and let them know you have their back. Always communicate with your family, don’t let things fester and be drawn out, deal with them and move on in love!
 
I’m thankful for a great dad and a great family. I hope to continue the legacy and I hope other Dads wish to do the same.
 
Happy Father’s Day!

Mother’s Day
5-8-13
 
When I think of a “mom,” I think of stability, selflessness, caring attention, unconditional love. I, likely, attribute these characteristics to a “mom,” because that is my experience as a child of a wonderful mom, husband to a wonderful mom and son in law to a wonderful mom-in-law.
 
I am uniquely blessed to have such wonderful mom examples in my life. It all begins with my mom, who was so giving as I look back (and continues to be now). For years I never even thought about the enormous work load that she put into my life. My baseball uniforms were always clean and ready to go…even with back to back daily games many times. Really, all my needs, food, transportation, etc., just happened. My mom always cooked the biggest and best meals for us growing boys (and an active sister)…she just always had it under control. She was the one who would calmly take me for x-rays for the seemingly dozens of sports injuries I had. She was not a “panicker,” rather a doer, a steady hand and a loving hand. My mom was “there,” she was always willing to do anything for us… and that’s no small thing! Even today, we enjoy our coffee time or that we both wake up early and chat before the others while on vacation...and we laugh at the same things. I have so much to be thankful for as a result of her; she showed me how to put my head down and just do it, she emulated quiet, yet strong and supportive love.
 
I have a wife that is much the same. She is amazing and she is such a wonderful mom to our 3 boys. I am so proud to be her husband and I know that her love and perseverance will pay off exponentially for our boys. Her wonderful traits are no doubt a result of her child experience, as her mother was also wonderful!
 
This Mother’s Day…I can’t express the blessing that I have in being surrounded by the best mothers on earth!  They represent Christ so well in their giving and sacrifice and that is what we can all learn from. Mothers are to be honored on this special day…as it is likely that we learn much of whatever we have of our Christ-like service from them.
 
They deserve a day…they deserve a MONTH…they deserve a lifetime of admiration and love in return!

A Real Man
4-24-13
 
This is a recent hot topic on the Christian book/speaking scene. Every time I hear that somebody is going to talk about this topic, I pay attention and eagerly wait to hear what they will say. But, why?  Why do we even need to have this discussion? Why are so many Men’s Ministries focused on this issue of real manhood?
 
This is one of those things that just keeps on circling my mind every so often, I think because I’m really confused as to why this is so difficult for our culture to grasp. And, to be brutally honest, I’m growing weary of speakers disregarding everything they are not good at as being a “false” ideal of what a “real” man is.
 
I heard one speaker say that “the world’s idea of a man is a guy who can change his own oil, shoot a gun, can drive a nail...but, I’m here to tell you that’s not a real man” and on and on he went. I sat there thinking, if there is a guy who is good at that kind of stuff in the audience, you just lost him bro. He’s looking at you like a pencil-armed yuppie who is about as impractical as mudguards on a turtle.
 
It would’ve been better to say “there are a lot of things that make up men, like being handy, being tough, sports, etc.. But, there’s also some other important stuff that we need to pay attention to.” Now, you’ve included them…
 
I just finished watching, for the hundredth time, the Paul Harvey Farmer commercial by Dodge (it’s on YouTube and you have to watch it). I kept thinking that he’s just about nailed what a real man is. It’s not necessarily a farmer, but the principles apply to just about every occupation and man. The “don’t quit until the job’s done” mentality. The tough but gentle spirit, etc.
 
In watching that, I can’t help but think of my grandfather (we called him “Pops”…said like Pups). He was a coal miner and a carpenter. He was a principled, Godly man. He was tough as nails and as gentle and loving as anyone I know. He could almost break a table in half pounding his fist at injustice…and that same hand of steel could wipe away the tears of the broken and hurting. He was only 8^th grade educated, yet read through his Bible every year. He gave and he gave to everybody…he was a horrible businessman as he would hate to charge people for carpentry work. He even owned a small little coal mine and wouldn’t charge anybody who couldn’t pay…which was pretty much everybody in their small town in Pennsylvania. He was a hunter, but always compassionate to animals…as every real sportsman has a measure of regret when harvesting animals. He was loyal, faithful, dependable, steadfast and principled. THAT was/is a man.
 
So, in closing, I think we are so focused on this concept in our ministries because we are so missing the mentorship of fathers and grandfathers, uncles, even friends, etc. No church program will ever replace my dad teaching my boys to build birdhouses and use tools. To have patience while fishing, to show respect to the animals we harvest, to work hard and finish the task. I encourage you , fellow Christian man, teach a young man how to be what my grandfather was…and no church program will be needed.

Our Scary World
4-17-13
 
In the wake of the recent Boston Marathon bombing many people are scared, wondering what kind of world we are living in and thinking society is beginning to unravel. I’ve heard people say they need to think about moving to another country, etc. I understand their fear; we are all saddened at the two most recent tragedies in America, Sandy Hook and the Marathon.
 
And yes, it is scary and yes, it does seem to be getting worse…but wait, is it really getting worse?
 
Some relatively easy research can shed some light on things. Did you know that, in fact, mass shootings are NOT on the rise statistically! That’s right, criminologists that have studied mass shootings (over 4 casualties) over the past 30 years have seen no increase or decrease. IN FACT, gun violence is DOWN nation wide…yes DOWN! There all kinds of studies using all types of data, but generally, this is the consensus.
 
So, why does it seem so out-of-control out there? Why does it seem so scary? I would like to theorize that we are too aware of the day-to-day and we are placing ourselves in a national community rather than a local community. Allow me to explain: many years ago, people heard about tragedy a day or more later via the local paper…by wire, etc. Then, as radio became more real-time, stations would provide updates if something happened, but still it wasn’t the 24/7 we get now. Now, after tragedies, there is 24/7 coverage, twitter, facebook, mobile apps…it absolutely consumes us. We hear the stories, we hear the scenario, we get super in-depth reporting, know the details, names, etc. Usually, we even get videos of the event, thanks to cell phones. We put ourselves in their shoes, they become part of our community. Due to travel, we might have even been there before.
 
Years ago, these mass violent incidents seemed far removed, somewhere else…another community. Now, we feel like they happen in our community. The US alone is 300+ million people. Bad stuff is just going to happen with that many people spread over an entire continent, we live in a fallen world and evil is just inevitable. The problem is, when it happens, it feels like it was right in our back yard, we become emotionally invested and it feels next door.
 
I believe that this is one negative that technology has brought us, we are too aware and then we begin to feel out of control and fearful (generally speaking).
 
So, my point is this, in looking at a number of statistical studies, our world is basically as evil as it ever was, no worse, no better. The difference is, we are more aware and we are very current…everywhere. As the saying goes “ignorance is bliss.” (Incedently, I'm also concerned with war coverage, the general public should not see war. They do not get the full picture, they do not understand what war is and they, typically, do not have the stomach to resolve until victory... but that's for a different day.)
 
So, what now?  Well, we as Christ followers (assuming you follow and love Jesus) are to set an example. We are not to live in a spirit of fear, but we are to have sound minds, understanding the temporal nature of life, regardless of tragedy. We should be motivated to share Christ with others, we should pray…pray for our Country(s), pray for ALL, yes ALL of our leaders and we should understand that Jesus Christ will one day RIGHT all WRONGS and that there is a hope and peace that comes with following Him. We should be vigilant and smart and yes we should protect ourselves (physically), but we should not live in fear…because we know where our future is. We need to set the example.

Tenacity
3/21/13

Tenacity, as defined by Webster, is the persistence toward something of value or to be desired. It is when we just won't quit to achieve a result that we perceive to be needed or valuable. We hear it used in sports, “he's a tenacious linebacker...” We see it used in business, sales, etc.

Is Tenacity dying? Or, at least, is our idea of what tenacity is changing? Are we, as a society, really willing to sacrifice, pay it forward, persevere and follow through until we succeed? As I watch the news, I grow increasingly concerned that we are less willing to endure any kind of inconvenience for the sake of doing the right thing. Would our generation have the tenacity to withstand something like WWII, or would we just get tired of fighting, begin to questions the rationale, the cost... and then fold? It seems to me that anytime we feel uncomfortable with something or we hear of something happening elsewhere in the Country, we want to make a law to protect ourselves from ever having a bad thing happen, regardless of the freedom (or constitutionality) of such laws. If we are inconvenienced, at all, someone is going to answer for it and the government better do something about it. We legislate, legislate, legislate...ever increasingly relying on the government to make our lives better. As we do so, we continually erode our freedoms and our principles of limited government. Our fore-fathers knew that freedom costs and can cost big! Sometimes, freedom of the press hurts people, sometimes our justice system doesn't seem so “just.” Sometimes, people use the second amendment for evil (although most all gun violence is with stolen/illegal weapons)...and we could go on. It's true, freedom can cost lives, and I'm really praying that we have the fortitude to continue as a free-nation...although I think we aren't even sure what that is anymore.

The same could be said for our Christian experience. It's so comfortable having rules, having guidelines and having someone tell you what to do...but, our Christ followship doesn't really call for that. The New Testament teaches that it is the Holy Spirit that will guide you and show you, through God's Word, how to live a life of Grace and Freedom. Legalism can creep into each of our spiritual lives so easily, but God's not in that...he wants us to be free...free to do the right thing, free to love, free to live fully for His calling on our life. It is a bit more dangerous...it is uncomfortable at times, but it is so special and so unique that ONLY the real God could be behind something so free! It takes TENACITY to live free, it takes a continuous, conscious effort to not allow legalism to creep in...even if it costs some comfort. I love the challenge!

Grace- as defined by my Sunday School experience growing up right on up through college Bible classes- is getting what we don’t deserve. Webster says it’s “unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification…a virtue coming from God.”
 
When we speak of grace toward one another, it takes on a little different manifestation than that of God’s grace toward us. While it generally means a similar thing, it’s more horizontal, in that none of us are in a position of “righteousness.” Meaning, it’s more like us not taking offense when wrongs are done toward us, not seeking “pay back,” treating others with undeserved kindness, extending best intentions, or maybe forgiving when it’s not even deserved or seems impossible.
 
Throughout my church experience I’ve experienced gracious moments, but so many seem to be conditional or still in the best interest of the grace-giver. Honestly, I really haven’t experienced that many pure-Grace moments; times where the grace-giver had absolutely nothing to gain by extending grace, they just did it with no strings attached. I guess part of the reason is that those moments are rare anyway, because as humans we always have something to gain or lose from our actions. What I’m trying to say is, many times the grace-giver has something to gain or benefit from by extending grace…even if it’s just accolades for doing so. I’m not sure if there’s anyway to correct or stop that on a human level, but it just goes to show the difference and significance of God’s grace, which is pure and totally a one-way street.
 
In our lives (in my life), let’s try to offer grace without strings attached, which is really difficult. At least, let’s try to make grace available to everyone in our life. It doesn’t mean we become doormats and weak, it means that we are always looking for redemption, for reconciliation and forgiveness; ready to offer what isn’t deserved.

Spiritual Arrogance
1-9-13
 
“…and what the Lord doth require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God”  Micah 6:8
 
This verse is quite clear in laying out what God wants of our lives…doesn’t need much explanation. As Christ followers, we need to do all that we can to make sure we are walking humbly in our lives. It doesn’t mean we hang our heads and become passive door-mats. It means that we conduct ourselves with honesty, integrity, reality and grace. It does not mean we don’t have opinions (the prophets and apostles sure had some), it does not mean we don’t call out sin and injustice…in fact just the opposite.
 
One of the biggest challenges to “walking humbly” that I see in our churches is that of Spiritual Arrogance. This little bugger can creep in and destroy like non other; it manifest itself in multiple ways and all are damaging. Here are three off the top of my head:
 
1.     Pride Based- This form of Spiritual Arrogance seems the least common. It is rare that someone actually thinks/believes that they’re that much better than everyone…or that much more “arrived” spiritually; although, it does happen. This person is usually subtle, because to be advanced spiritually is to be humble; therefore they strive to do all they can to be humble. This one is rarely obvious to others, as it is more of an internal struggle.

2.     Fear Based- This is the one that drives everyone crazy. This is the most external form of Spiritual Arrogance. It is usually rooted in insecurity and fear (cowardice). This might be the leader who knows someone can’t sing at all, but says “I prayed about and I just don’t have a peace about you and this song, maybe another time”…when they knew all along there was no way that person was ever getting a microphone. THAT is spiritually arrogant in that they are blaming God for something that God had nothing to do with, it was an objective decision disguised in spiritual subjectivity. Or, when they want to push their agenda through and pull the “God told me card” or act humbly passive-aggressive. Maybe, they want to move something in a certain direction, but are afraid of the backlash, so they pull the God card and cut the questioners off at the knees. We could go on and on…but, you get the point.

3.     The Falsely Humble- Really, this one could go under either of the above points, but it deserves its own section. This is the coup-de-grace’ of the Spiritually Arrogant. It is almost impossible to call out, because you’ll look like a bully or not “in the right spirit.” I think it’s the most annoying because it is usually obvious, but impossible to pin-point. Long-term, pride always shows itself and at some point, false-humility becomes impossible to disguise.
 
In closing, I don’t mean to be negative. My reason for even approaching this issue is that I think it’s important that we as a Church start addressing some of these cancerous issues, head on. I KNOW that 99% of true Christ followers would never willingly ascribe to this kind of behavior, but it so easily creeps in given the nature of the Church institutions of North America. We need to guard ourselves against this kind of sin and make sure that we DO NOT confuse institutionally driven decisions and necessities with God-given biblical decisions. To finish up our Worship minister example: If someone that can’t sing a note really wants to sing a song…it’s not a spiritual decision, don’t make it one. It’s a matter of what’s right for your church body. You as a leader have been given the position to make those decisions and a brain to do them with. You know it’s not a fit, not right, so don’t blame God…make the decision. Confront it with GRACE and encourage a different avenue of ministry. You might say, “Brett, it’s not that easy”…I say “yes, actually it is.”

Resolute?
12-27-12

(Sing with me)...And a Happy New Year!...

Here we go, off to 2013! New Years are fun and reinvigorating, they cause us all to reflect on the past, analyze what we want different and plan for the future. Really, a great exercise and process; probably one that we should do more often.

Then comes the New Year’s resolution. In my opinion, New Year’s resolutions are feel-good wishes that rarely continue past minimal effort. I just don’t understand how a calendar date all of the sudden snaps you into doing something (or not doing something). So, if it is something that we know needs to change, why not start changing on December 1st or 15th? And, if we didn’t have the fortitude to change it then, what makes us think that we can change it a few days later...because the date changed? I guess there is something to be said for a specific start and a launch point, etc. but really, if we were serious about change, wouldn’t we just start no matter the date? Maybe that’s why my gym is full of new people in January, most of whom I never see again past March!

I know, I know...I’m being Debbie-downer. However, I’m really not trying to be...I’m just trying to point out that rather than making resolutions because it’s a date on the calendar, why not just decide right now to read your Bible more, to get a little exercise, to stop smoking, whatever...?

I guess, to me, it’s the same kind of mentality that Christ’s disciples had when he told them “Follow Me.” The bible said they quit what they were doing and followed Him. Remember the man who Jesus said “Follow Me” to and he responded “Yes, I will, but I just have to go get my house in order....”  Jesus basically said nope... it’s now or never.

If we’re serious about real change (I mean for important things), why wait?  Jesus says follow me... now. Why do we have to wait for a calendar day to dig deeper in His Word (probably the most popular and important resolution I hear)? 

Why not start today?

Where From Here

December 17, 2012

I wanted to wait a few days before posting anything about the Sandy Hook massacre in Connecticut. Honestly, what I would have written a few days ago would’ve been filled with anger and not made much sense.

Now that I’ve had a few days to process the tragedy, I still feel sick...but, I’m at least able to write about it and discuss where I think we need to focus as a Country and as believers.

The danger is (and I knew it would happen) that we begin to focus on the surface level issues. By that, I mean the how. How did he get the guns? How can we tighten gun laws? etc. Frankly, I find no long-term solutions in any of that. Make all the gun laws you want, guns will still be available...in fact, it will just enhance the black market for them. Drugs are illegal, yet people still obtain them. I’m not for legalizing drugs, by the way, just pointing out that they remain accessible. Guns are just a tool; if not guns, it will be molotov cocktails, bombs, swords, hammers, shovels, cars, etc. The Oklahoma City bomber used a panel truck...

Anyway, the focus should be where we are as a society. How desensitized does someone have to be to slaughter innocent Kindergarteners? How disturbed? How detached? That is the real question. Guns capable of multiple rounds have been accessible for 100 years! Yet, 30-40-50 years ago, we’d never dream of such things happening. So, gun technology (or our exposure to them) hasn’t really changed. So, what has?

What has changed is our moral compass. Our values, our movies, our entertainment (games). We let our kids play games like “Call of Duty” or even worse “Grand Theft Auto”...did you know that one of the goals is to rape a woman in that game? Or, that you get points for just walking up to innocent people and blowing their head off! The graphics are extremely realistic too! Scientific studies have showed that such games have very damaging effects on the brain and cause realistic desensitization.

Or how about our TV shows? My wife and I noticed one evening that EVERY show on EVERY major network at the same time, had brutal murder as its theme...that’s our entertainment? Watching people get murdered to start a show!

Or how about our homes? (Now it hurts.) We tell our kids violence isn’t the answer, but we scream at people on the road in hate. I could go on...

Finally, the real issue, what about the shutting out of God? Point in case, last night the memorial service in Connecticut included prayers and a large group of clergy coming together..the President referenced God, etc. YET, in that very same district, a Valedictorian was denied that ability to say their prayer at graduation. So, we totally ignore and shut God out when we don’t need or want Him, but at our darkest hours we cry out to Him. Fortunately, He is a God of forgiveness, mercy and grace! He continually pursues us, He wants us to know Him and He SOOO wants America to come running into His arms! It’s never too late for us...it’s never too late for you. God truly is awesome!

Birth

December 14, 2012

What a fascinating experience, to have been there as my 3 boys came into this world. Birth is a truly miraculous event...one that takes place tens of thousands of times (maybe more) per day. Yet, on the days my wife brought our boys into this world, I felt as if I was the first, the only, the most privileged...they were “my” babies, they were and are so unique and special.

Interesting, isn’t it, that our Lord uses birth to describe two (yes two) of the most foundational acts of Christianity. 

First, the physical birth of a Savior! Jesus Christ, God with skin on, coming into the World to provide divine hope and salvation for all men. Birth, a beginning, a change of life for all involved (in this case, the whole World).

Second, Jesus describes to Nicodemus that to be reconciled to God one must be “born again.” A rebirth, a restart, a fresh cleansing. Just as physical birth is beautiful, is pure joy to parents and full of love; so is our spiritual birth to our Heavenly Father. The same way angels rejoiced that day in Bethlehem, so do angels rejoice whenever a child of God is re-born into a right-relationship with God.

This Christmas, we remember the birth of our Savior, our Hope and our Salvation. May we also not forget to celebrate the opportunity that His BIRTH gave us to have our BIRTH into God’s Kingdom. Remember that through your “re-birth,” your Heavenly Father is beaming and loves you just like a new parent loves that newborn baby!

Merry Christmas!

Inside or Outside the Box

December 5, 2012

A while back I wrote about this in a previous blog. Every now and then I resurrect the concept...because I so believe it’s what’s missing in society today. That is, the ability to think INSIDE the box.

Are you kind of tired of everyone in business/organizations talking about thinking outside the box? I am. What does that even mean? And, if everyone is supposed to think OUTSIDE the box, aren’t they really thinking INSIDE the box? I’m so confused!

From my perspective, I have a lot more professional respect for those who actually THINK inside the box. I guess it seems like thinking outside the box has become a very “cool” and “creative” way to be lazy, or excuse inadequacy or lack of performance.

Here’s my take: It’s really hard to successfully think and work inside of an organization’s structure, core competency, tradition and previous success. Many times it seems cumbersome, routine, even boring. Thinking inside the box means working within what is already known to work, making micro-evolution adjustments and working hard to continue success. Many (Most) times an organization got to where it is by doing something right...and often, decline is an issue of being too comfortable, too inefficient and quite frankly, laziness. Organizations that continually motivate, reward, encourage, correct, discipline, etc., rarely NEED to think outside the box, because the inside of the box is clipping along just fine.

All of that said, some level of thinking outside the box is necessary. It’s important to have a set of eyes on the horizon, see what’s coming and how to use and expand future tools. However, it is vital that the personnel doing so are experienced inside the box’ers. Managers, right here is what can really set your organization back...allowing an unqualified “insider” to think outside on your behalf. The outside the box’er must have a thorough understanding of the organizations goals, values, mission, culture and competencies. If not, it is a waist of resources. This process is not for the inexperienced...they need to earn their stripes INSIDE the box first.

Well, hopefully I haven’t thoroughly confused you and at the very least we begin to think about working within who and what we are and then moving outward from there.

It’s like dieting. Every day a new slick-trick diet comes on the market. However, doctors continue to say...eating right and exercise is what really works long-term. Yet, we try the short-cuts, the tricks, the systems, etc. Why? Because, if we are honest, the traditional way is just hard work.

The same could be applied to our spiritual lives. We KNOW that spending time in God’s word and communication (praying) with Him are what brings us closer to Him. Yet, we often try “shortcuts” or alternative quick fixes to bypass the work involved with having a relationship with God.  

Try thinking and working inside the box first, it’s hard work, but the results are rewarding.