First, I need to apologize as I have neglected SKOPOS for awhile now. It’s not that it isn’t on my mind, it’s just that we’ve experienced a very busy season at WDCX and when I did have time to write, I really didn’t feel like I had much to say that was unique.
Well, unfortunately, now I do. This is going to be an honest post; fair warning has been issued. In my humanity, sometimes I just don’t like what God allows. Let me explain; right now, there is a little 4 yr old boy we know that, barring a miracle, has weeks to live. Brain cancer has attacked him and within literal weeks, he’s in a really bad situation. 4 YEARS OLD!? I barely slept last night, thinking of my own boys and what an absolute nightmare for his parents, devastating, sad, doesn’t even come close to describing the pain. I also found out one of my best friends just lost his brother to a heart attack, at 42 yrs old. He has kids. And, a lady in our church is in very bad shape due to surgery complications.
Ok, getting real here, I really can’t trace God’s hand here. I find myself saying “c’mon God, this is ridiculous, a 4 yr old boy, 4 YEARS OLD!” I find myself a little rocked, feeling a bit like God’s hands are off the wheel.
When my brother died suddenly 11 years ago, I remember asking God “why,” I remember telling Him that I just don’t understand. It didn’t really rock my faith at all, in fact, it strengthened it. And, even now, thinking about that 4 yr old, my faith remains strong, but boy oh boy am I having a hard time seeing anything but destruction toward a godly, strong, sweet family. It’s so hard with only part of the story, so hard with our finite minds. So scary.
I consider myself a pretty tough guy. I’m a country boy, an outdoorsman, I exercise, run tough mudders, etc. There is not much that scares me, physically speaking. But, I admit, I’m scared. I catch myself thinking that God is going to allow another tragedy and then another and pretty soon it’ll be my family’s turn…what’s lurking in our future? I know we are supposed to trust Him…but this family trusted Him and look at the monstrous pain they are going through.
I pray, “Lord, help me, give me a glimpse…I believe, help my unbelief.” I sooooo bad want God to come through with a miracle on this one. I want this so bad for that little boy and family. I am praying without ceasing on this one. Please join me.
Well, before I close, I want you to know that I DO trust God, I trust His plan and I trust his heart. His Word is true, His plan is bigger than our discomfort. He is God, and we are not.
Spurgeon said:
“God is too good to be unkind. He is too wise to be confused. If I cannot trace His hand, I can always trust His heart.”
Even writing this and reading God’s Word, I feel better about trusting that He has this situation in His hand too. From our perspective, we don’t like what’s happening one bit, but the problem is, that’s only our perspective. God’s Word says His ways are higher than our ways…it also asks rhetorically in 1 Corinthians “who can know the mind of God?”
Well, I admit it Lord, I don’t trace Your hand on this one and I don’t know Your mind…but I trust Your heart, and I’m trying to rest in that.
